but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
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