yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I intend to get homeless drunk
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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