but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
