Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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