What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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