I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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