so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
