I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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