and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
