I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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