So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
