he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
