This girl is more easily done than said...
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
