i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
