I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Randomize