There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
as a side note pls kill me
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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