9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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