I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
