are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize