Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Randomize
