I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
