She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I am full of burrito and curiosity
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
There's even glitter on my cock...
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