she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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