TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
