Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Randomize
