GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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