I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
