I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
