I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
