Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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