My boss' voice literally gives me gas
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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