dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
