hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
