Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
My brain says no but my pants say off.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
