): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
