names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
