what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
