If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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