i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
