hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
