Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
