i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
