Walk of Shame today included voting.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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