You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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