no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
