Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
you inspire me to be a worse person
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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