I'm gonna have a badass scar
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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