I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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