Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
