If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
This baby is an asshole
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
