I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
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