Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
