I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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