pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
