He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
