Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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