Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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