I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
