i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
