doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize