Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Randomize