Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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