he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
